Moving is difficult for everyone--especially children. Military families often relocate every two years, which can be stressful and alienating for your child. If you have recently received your PCS orders and are preparing to move, these tips will help you ease your child's fears during the overwhelming process.
Talk about the move
Eliminating the mystery behind the move will decrease your child's apprehension and fear. Remain open and keep him informed of each step of the process, including travel plans and packing schedules. Keeping him involved will also offer a sense of control over the situation and make him feel important and valued. Ask for help with moving -related tasks or decorating tips for the new place.
Always remember to let your child know that you are available to listen to any of his concerns and answer any questions. Being empathetic and understanding will help ease your child's worries about the upcoming move.
Learn about the new duty station
As soon as you receive your PCS orders, it's time to start researching the region you will soon call home. Living on base is often an easier transition for children--they will be surrounded by other military kids that can relate to the stress of constant relocation. Military children are accustomed to a constant flow of newcomers to their schools and neighborhoods, and tend to be more accepting than children in civilian areas.
Look up places of interest near your new duty station and surrounding communities and discuss them with your children. Find pictures online or even take an advance trip to the new base if distance permits. Reducing the unfamiliarity of your child's future home will make it much less scary, and may even get her excited about the move.
Visit the school
Before your child's first day, take a trip to his new school. There are usually newcomer orientations held to meet teachers and get the lay of the land. Having a chance to walk through the halls and find his new classroom will alleviate much of his fear of the first day. You can even request that your child be assigned a "buddy"--a friendly student to show him around and help him make new friends.
Use what's familiar
When setting up your new home, try to keep your surroundings as similar to your previous household as possible. Replicate the decor by setting up the furniture in the same fashion and painting the walls the same color. Allow your child to bring all her favorite possessions and decorate her bedroom to resemble her former room. This re-creation of your old home will offer your child security and comfort during the staggering adjustment period that occurs after a move.
Keep routines the same
Besides duplicating your decor to reflect the essence of your former home, maintaining familiar routines will ease the transition for your child. Keep meal times and bed times the same, even during travel. While adhering to your child's accustomed schedule exactly may be difficult while on the road or staying in a hotel, try to keep deviation from your habits minimal.
Get involved
At your new base, there will be many resources available to help you and your family settle in. There are a variety of organizations established to help military families connect with one another and make new friends. Some of these include:
- Blue Star Family Chapters
- Military Significant Others and Spouse Support
- Moving On After Moving In.
Find even more of these helpful groups at Operation We Are Here.
Explore your new base, and check out the family center and the Morale, Welfare, and Recreation office for brochures on local attractions and community events. Attend a newcomer's briefing, which are held regularly, to get more information on your new home and meet new people. By becoming acquainted with other parents, you can set up a play date to help your little one make friends.
Keep in touch
The hardest part about being a military brat is having to say goodbye to your friends every several years when it's time to move again. Fortunately, technology makes maintaining connections easier than ever before. Encourage your child to keep contact with close pals and family using social networks, video chat, blogs, email and text messaging. Planning a visit back home in the future is also a great way to provide your child with something to anticipate. Remember to also let her know that her friends back home are always welcome for a visit.