Moving in together is one of the biggest steps that a couple can take in a relationship. Although it can be both exciting and scary to live with your significant other for the first time, it's one of the best tests of a relationship and a great learning experience that you both will benefit from.
There are ground rules that need to be established, boundaries that need to be set and responsibilities that need to be shared. Together, with the right amount of cooperation and compromise, you can live in harmony.
Establish the ground rules for living together
Before you start to unpack your things, there should be a discussion about how you each envision your living situation. You can each discuss your expectations, your concerns and anything that you may have on your mind about moving in together. This way, you can clear up whatever may be troubling you about the impending move.
Here are a few things you should discuss:
- Make guidelines to follow. Create a simple list of guidelines that you both agree to follow while living together; they should benefit both of you. For example, agreeing not to leave dirty clothes littering the bedroom floor and putting the toilet seat down are both good ways to avoid tension over trivial matters.
- Discuss money and finances. It's not easy talking about money, but it's usually best to have this discussion prior to moving in. You should determine how the rent/mortgage will be paid each month and how you plan on sharing the fiscal responsibility of paying utility and grocery bills. Figuring out your budget is an important part of preparing for your life together as a couple.
- Schedule date nights. You are going to spend a lot of time with your significant other, but it's important to schedule romantic engagements or you'll fall into a roomate-like relationship. Carving out a day of the week, or even day of the month, to do something special with your significant other will give you both something to look forward too, easing the stress on your relationship and assuring the other person you're around for more than just part of the rent.
Determine boundaries and responsibilities
When you finally move in together and have everything unpacked and arranged the way you like it (or the way your significant other likes it - remember, compromise is key), it will be time to discuss a few more important issues. For example:
- Divide up the chores and other household responsibilities. Don't like washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom? Well, there's always vacuuming or handling the garbage and recycling duties. There will always be something that needs to be done, so instead of wasting time arguing over whose turn it is to walk the dog or do the laundry, devise a schedule where all household chores are divided up fairly and evenly.
- Collaborate on the decorating. This place belongs to the both of you, so it's only right that you each have a hand in deciding how to decorate the place. Plus, spending some time working together on decorating will help to bring you closer together and make the place uniquely your own, with elements of both personal styles blended together.
- Don't let you partner go to bed upset. Moving in with your partner means you are both trying to be in each other's lives for the long run. Letting your partner go to bed upset with only amplify the dissonance between the two of you. It is best to make up for any arguments you had during the day before you go to bed to allow for a more harmonious relationship.
- Show your appreciation for each other whenever you can, but also know when to give each other space. If you notice your significant other is feeling down or having a bad week, show your love by cooking dinner, picking up a few household chores or even just renting a favorite movie to watch together on the couch. The little things tend to be appreciated the most.
However, it's also equally important to know when to give each other space and privacy. Living with your significant other can get overwhelming, be sure to effectively commuicate when you need some "me" time.
TIP: Have two different TVs in different rooms. This will allow you two to have some space to watch your own shows. You don't want to be fighting over who gets to watch what.