No matter how much you love Mom and Dad, returning to the nest can be difficult for everyone involved. Losing all the freedom you accumulated in college might be a little hard to handle.
Your parents may feel financially burdened or revert back to classic parental roles -- even though you are now an adult. Remember, you are living under their roof. However, you can help maintain a harmonious household by remaining respectful, staying focused, and contributing any way you can.
Have a plan before moving back in with your parents
If you are moving back home with your parents, chances are, you want it to be temporary. Have an exit strategy to get back on your feet and out on your own as swiftly as possible. Whether you are going back to school, hunting for a job or looking for a new place, outline your method of achieving this goal.
- What are you going back to school for?
- Where are you going and for how long?
- What happens after school?
- What kind of job are you looking for?
- Where will you look?
- Do you have to find a roommate?
TIP: Create a picture of what you want your life to look like in several years and determine how you will obtain that end result.
Attach deadlines to these goals so that you can remain focused. You don't have to strictly adhere to these deadlines, but it's a good practice to give yourself a timeline. That way you don't get sidetracked and lose progress on your goals. If you just recently graduated from college, try to find a full-time job by Labor Day to help you stay focused over the summer.
Don't freeload or take advantage of your parents
Even if your parents are allowing you to move back in rent-free, there are other ways to contribute to the household. Pitch in with household chores, prepare meals, or offer to cover one of the bills if you can afford it. You will gain their respect if you demonstrate value and prove that you aren't a mooch that's just eating all their food and sleeping on the couch. While your parents could be more than happy to have you back in the nest, they will appreciate the effort and know that you aren't taking their kindness for granted.
I'm sure you have heard this from your parents plenty of times, but get a job.
The easiest way to annoy your parents after moving in is to relax in the pool all day with no interest in being employed. Besides being a functioning member of society, getting a job will keep you busy and help you save up for your own place. Even if your first full-time job isn't something you saw yourself doing, it will provide:
- Training and necessary work experience
- A source of income to fund your big move
- A filler so there's no gap on your resume between college and employment
Respect your parents, and they will respect you
If you have been out on your own for a few years, you may resent your parents' returned presence in your everyday life. Even when their children are grown, parents have the tendency to still view them as young, impressionable and in need of guidance. If your parents attempt to enforce rules on you while you are living under their roof, try to remain respectful during disagreements.
While it's normal to want to continue having the same privacy and freedom you enjoyed when on your own, it may be hard to convince your parents to share your sentiment. However, by respecting simple rules such as putting your dirty dishes directly into the dishwasher or keeping your laundry off the floor, it may be easier to dispute their gripes about you coming home at three in the morning.
Expect your parents to share their opinions
Besides attempting to create rules during your return to the household, expect your parents to also provide unwarranted feedback whenever they deem necessary. Parents always believe they know best, and will provide their input whether it's wanted or not. Prepare to deal with their judgments and strive to respond maturely to avoid confrontation.
Consider their viewpoints for validity before refuting them. If you are moving back home to save money, but are going out with your friends every night, don't they have a right to express concern? While you are living under your parents' roof, it's always best to respect their opinions. If you disagree with some of their critique, be sure to let them know in a calm, respectful manner to avoid any unnecessary drama.
Start saving while you live at home
No one wants to be living in their parents home until they inherit it. Stay focused and try to curb spending habits to build a sizeable nest egg to move out. While lack of bills and responsibility can result in frequent nights out and difficult-to-resist shopping urges, the more money you uselessly spend, the longer it will take to get a place of your own.
- Create a savings plan and allot a certain portion of each paycheck to transfer into your savings account
- Any extra money left over in your checking account at the end of your pay period should go right into savings
- Try to limit frivolous spending to no more than one purchase, or one night out per month, to help you keep your saving on track
When you saved up enough, we compiled a list of some of the best cities for young adults if the urban life interest you.